For as long as I can remember, I have had to endure relentless digs at the dinner table about the chaotic state of my bedroom. 

I have refined and perfected the creation of a flawless replica of the leaning tower of Pisa with equal parts dirty laundry and sheer willpower. The hasty you-have-to-clean-your-room-before-you-can-go-out stash and dash? Mastered that years ago. I have also mastered the art of a perfectly timed self-deprecating joke whenever another human being catches a glimpse of my living space.

“I know, it’s like a hurricane went off in here! Don’t mind the mess, I was just about to clean it!”

“I am 99% sure that I’m actually the messiest person I know.”

“Please don’t judge me, I know I have to do laundry! I know, I know!”

Sound familiar?

All of these jokes are made in an attempt to dilute the hot flash of embarrassment that usually comes when I’ve been caught doing something wrong. Rather than be called out on it, I’d prefer to address it first so that (however egocentric this might be) I have the “upper hand” and control over the situation. But what is there to be embarrassed about? What is it about people knowing about the mess that causes my heart to frantically pound like I accidentally forgot to wear pants to school?

There is nothing to be ashamed about.

A messy room does not equal a messy life. Those two things are mutually exclusive. Just because you kick your shoes off without untying the laces and leave them in the middle of the floor or have a pile of laundry waiting to be folded on the foot of your bed does not devalue your worth as a person. 

You are not any less in control over your life if your room sometimes resembles Forever 21 on Black Friday. Sounds crazy, right?

That is not to say that there is not a spectrum of cleanliness; if you have mold growing in mugs and a strange smell coming from the pile of old take-out boxes in the corner, then you probably should seriously consider reevaluating how your mildly-hazardous environment could affect your health and sanity. Wash those dishes. Just do it.

However, I have seen the unfortunate aftermath when cleanliness is turned into an obsession – when people become addicted to tidiness and immaculate living environments, it can be indicative of an external attempt to organize a chaotic mind. 

When feeling yourself begin to lose control of your mental or emotional health, it is easy to determinately reorganize the most physical aspects of your life so that it might “spill over” into your mental health. 

Unfortunately, mental health doesn’t always work like that.

Hyperactive cleanliness doesn’t mean, in any regard, that you have your life together. It actually might be the complete opposite. Have you ever walked into a space where you felt a wave of stiff, cold energy radiate from the sterile white walls? A house that’s well lived in feels like a home.

I used to babysit for a family that let their adorable four-year-old color, scribble and paint all over the walls. Stuffed to the brim with her artwork and school projects, the house emanated authenticity and a true sense of home. It would never be described as “clean” but it most definitely would be described as “happy.”

Another place that highlights the importance of living fearlessly in the chaos of daily life is the gospel. Jesus was not a man afraid of a mess. 

He preached in the dust of Jerusalem, He rode on top of donkeys and met with the sinners, the tax collectors, the lepers — perhaps the “messiest” of all. He was unperturbed by the sweat and grime of daily life. 

In fact, this was where he was most at home.

He turned the people of Israel’s world upside down. He worked fearlessly through the grit and pain and labored to turn a chaotic people into a people on a path to the Lord. He told parables full of complex truths that would ultimately lead to the salvation of His people.

God steps into our lives amidst the mess; he works his miracles by seeing beyond our tangled lives and offers us a faithful future regardless.

If you ever feel yourself with an overwhelming urge to tidy and spruce in order to fulfill an internal desire to feel “clean,” take a moment and think about what your soul is truly yearning for. Maybe allowing Jesus to cleanse us of our clutter and wash away our grime is what we really need.

Jesus was not a man afraid of a mess and we shouldn’t be either.